How do I measure up? Well this section is nearing completion (that was fast!) and it will soon be time to right the paper for this section. I just finished the section on Grief and Loss. That is, honestly, one of the things I am the most scared about. How does one support a family through a stillborn birth? Or a late miscarriage? Or something that just goes terribly wrong during the birthing process? I know that these situations are rare, but it's such a painful thought. And, it's also my biggest fear. I think I can handle the up's and down's of supporting a woman in labor. But, to support a family through the loss of their baby.....scares me. And why is that? Death is all very normal, it's part of everyday life. But to deal with the death of a child, one who shouldn't be going yet.....
I don't know. Perhaps I would feel less attached if I didn't have a baby of my own. But I do. And the thought of losing them is just intense, and gritty, and bad.
Well, on to my paper. I am to write about my own birthing experience. Should be interesting!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
Hello! And welcome...
Howdy! Today, my journey began. Well really, it all began about 10 months ago, but I didn't know it at the time.
I was blessed to birth my beautiful child 10 months ago in a birthing center in my town. I had a beautiful, un-medicated, water birth. It was, in a word, blissful. I had a midwife in attendance, and two doula's, and my husband. And of course, my baby. Now aside from a few complications right afterwards, it went off like clockwork. I called my doula's, we rushed to the birthing center and within a few hours a baby was born. Now, had I done things the way I ORIGINALLY planned, I would have been in a hospital, likely strapped to a bed with an epidural. That's some people's dream birth. Not mine. But, I didn't realize it until I took my Childbirth Education class. My instructor, a particularily inspiring sort, also happened to be a doula. As luck would have it, she offered her services up to us, even though she wasn't exactly taking clients at the time. We didn't have to think to long about it, and signed up post haste. Throughout not only our childbirth class, but our meetings with this doula and her partner, we discovered that we weren't doing what we wanted. And even though we should have known better we did nothing about it. It was these two women who inspired me to act on the fears, concerns, and complaints I had surrounding the way our current Doctor was treating us. We switched care providers from an OB/GYN, to a midwife practice RIGHT at the end of our pregnancy. We decided against a hospital setting and chose a birthing center. We took ownership of our pregnancy. And the best part of it, is that WE did it. WE made those choices and decisions. Not our Doctor, not our Doula, not our Parents, or Sisters, or Brothers of Friends. WE DID IT. So, when the time came, we got exactly what we hoped for. An unmedicated waterbirth, and a beautiful happy, healthy baby.
I remember wanting right away to become involved somehow in the birthing community. i told my Doula that, and I believe her response was a very cautious 'Hmmm. I can understand that considering you just gave birth. But, why don't you wait 6 months, and still see if you feel the same way?' I agreed, and then proceeded to carefully countdown the days. And sure enough, my desires and ambitions only grew with time. I sorta jumped around. Childbirth Educator! No, Birth Doula, no Postpartum Doula! Finally, I had a pivotal event. My best friend, who was a few months pregnant when my child was born, went into labor. We sorta....lost touch during the months after my baby was born. We came back together, probably more than anything, during her birth. I got the call early one morning that she was going in to be induced. I waited for them to arrive home, helped em get out the door, and headed up a little while later. I was able to stay with her for a while, and see her through the very early stages of labor before I had to leave. But, that was enough. I was hooked. I was so FRUSTRATED that I couldn't be there. But, I had my own child to tend to. She was my first 'taste' for the job, and I haven't been able to get enough since.
So, here I sit, nearly 3 months after her birthing experience. And today, I offically signed up for Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator training. I decided that I wanted to be all the things I had talked about. So, I am starting with these two, and will seek out my Lactation Education and Postpartum Doula certification. I am utilizing an online certification, because hey, I have a 10 month old. So, this blog is going to serve as a spot for reflection, a diary of my journey, and a safe haven for my myriad of experiences. Welcome to my memoirs, I hope you enjoy them!
I was blessed to birth my beautiful child 10 months ago in a birthing center in my town. I had a beautiful, un-medicated, water birth. It was, in a word, blissful. I had a midwife in attendance, and two doula's, and my husband. And of course, my baby. Now aside from a few complications right afterwards, it went off like clockwork. I called my doula's, we rushed to the birthing center and within a few hours a baby was born. Now, had I done things the way I ORIGINALLY planned, I would have been in a hospital, likely strapped to a bed with an epidural. That's some people's dream birth. Not mine. But, I didn't realize it until I took my Childbirth Education class. My instructor, a particularily inspiring sort, also happened to be a doula. As luck would have it, she offered her services up to us, even though she wasn't exactly taking clients at the time. We didn't have to think to long about it, and signed up post haste. Throughout not only our childbirth class, but our meetings with this doula and her partner, we discovered that we weren't doing what we wanted. And even though we should have known better we did nothing about it. It was these two women who inspired me to act on the fears, concerns, and complaints I had surrounding the way our current Doctor was treating us. We switched care providers from an OB/GYN, to a midwife practice RIGHT at the end of our pregnancy. We decided against a hospital setting and chose a birthing center. We took ownership of our pregnancy. And the best part of it, is that WE did it. WE made those choices and decisions. Not our Doctor, not our Doula, not our Parents, or Sisters, or Brothers of Friends. WE DID IT. So, when the time came, we got exactly what we hoped for. An unmedicated waterbirth, and a beautiful happy, healthy baby.
I remember wanting right away to become involved somehow in the birthing community. i told my Doula that, and I believe her response was a very cautious 'Hmmm. I can understand that considering you just gave birth. But, why don't you wait 6 months, and still see if you feel the same way?' I agreed, and then proceeded to carefully countdown the days. And sure enough, my desires and ambitions only grew with time. I sorta jumped around. Childbirth Educator! No, Birth Doula, no Postpartum Doula! Finally, I had a pivotal event. My best friend, who was a few months pregnant when my child was born, went into labor. We sorta....lost touch during the months after my baby was born. We came back together, probably more than anything, during her birth. I got the call early one morning that she was going in to be induced. I waited for them to arrive home, helped em get out the door, and headed up a little while later. I was able to stay with her for a while, and see her through the very early stages of labor before I had to leave. But, that was enough. I was hooked. I was so FRUSTRATED that I couldn't be there. But, I had my own child to tend to. She was my first 'taste' for the job, and I haven't been able to get enough since.
So, here I sit, nearly 3 months after her birthing experience. And today, I offically signed up for Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator training. I decided that I wanted to be all the things I had talked about. So, I am starting with these two, and will seek out my Lactation Education and Postpartum Doula certification. I am utilizing an online certification, because hey, I have a 10 month old. So, this blog is going to serve as a spot for reflection, a diary of my journey, and a safe haven for my myriad of experiences. Welcome to my memoirs, I hope you enjoy them!
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